Overcome Your Fears with the Power of Self-Coaching

每个人都有恐惧。这就是我们在生物学上的接线方式。我们中有些人担心失败，害怕public speaking, a fear of not being good enough (hello,冒名顶替综合症！），或害怕因我们的身份而被判断。尽管恐惧没有错，但是当我们的恐惧开始阻止我们时，问题就会出现。

恐惧可以在许多方面抓住我们。它使我们进行自我审查，推动我们的beplay最新备用网址，犹豫寻求机会等等。根据个人经验，恐惧会对我们的方式产生强大的影响表现, but the good news is that these moments of fear are perfect opportunities to practice the power of self-coaching.

自我指导是预选肯定，鼓励和指导的措施的做法，您可以在何时告诉自己gremlinin your head wants you to hold back. It’s a form of mental rehearsal, which we know is a clinically proven strategy for reducing stress. Essentially, it’s a strategic way of giving yourself a pep talk when you need it most.

自我指导是建立信心并克服恐惧的绝佳工具，因为这一切都是为了取回您的力量。您无需依靠任何人或其他任何东西来支持您 - 您拥有帮助自己所需的所有工具！

Here are three ways you can get started with self-coaching.

从正念开始

与许多（如果不是全部！）其他形式的自我工作一样，正念is essential for knowing when to self-coach. Mindfulness is the practice of tuning into the present moment to gain awareness of what you’re thinking, feeling, and sensing — all in a non-judgmental way.

When we experience moments of fear or panic, our nervous system is activated, and we enter into a fight, flight, or freeze response. When this happens, the physical symptoms of stress can impair aspects of our cognition and decision-making. By practicing mindfulness, we can slow down, hear what’s happening in our mind, and be in greater control of how we speak and behave.

After practicing mindful awareness of your thoughts for a while, you’ll have a better idea of the kinds of situations in which you’re likely to experience negative narratives. It’s in those situations that you’ll want to have self-coaching on standby.

Then, whether your fear is caused by a negative narrative you’ve内部化（“您不够好”），一种自我限制的信念，即您坚持自己（“我不能做到这一点”），或者感到压力像你的人not（“不要表现出您的真实感受”），自我指导可以帮助您以更好的方式行事或讲话Authentic Self.

使用咒语和肯定

A mantra or积极的肯定是一种强化的陈述，您可以在压力时刻进行战略性地使用策略性，扎根和平静。您可以在最需要的时候选择简单的练习和调用的东西。例如，在艰难的时刻，我使用咒语“我很好，很好。我很棒，我很棒。”

You can also use mantras or affirmations during vulnerable moments. For example, the first time I said “I love you” to my partner, self-coaching really helped me! Firstly, I was terrified, because one of my own negative narratives is a fear of being unlovable. Secondly, when the moment arrived and I knew I had to tell him, my body was telling me to run far, far away (which I clocked using mindfulness)! Eventually, I called on the power of self-coaching to push through the nerves, and using the mantra, “I am love, I can do this!” to encourage myself, I was able to push through and express my true feelings. And I can tell you, it was a very rewarding feeling.

您不必使用这些确认的肯定，实际上，我鼓励您提出自己的肯定！选择您独特的东西，这将使您在恐惧或压力的时刻感到更加扎根。

挑战您的负面叙述

When it comes to challenging negative narratives and long-held fears, sometimes a positive statement isn’t enough. In these cases, it’s important to focus on giving yourself concrete evidence of the positive truth you want to be thinking instead.

例如，如果您患有冒名顶替综合症（就像我偶尔向观众展示时所做的那样），那么您的负面叙述可能听起来像是：“我不敢相信我现在正处于500人面前的舞台。如果他们认为我很愚蠢怎么办？”这种负面的叙述很难用一个简单的“你明白了，女孩！”

It can be more powerful to take stock of your accomplishments and use them as evidence to unlearn your negative narratives and instead start to internalize a positive truth about yourself. In the example above, I would beef up a positive, encouraging thought by adding evidence of my worthiness, for example: “I am qualified to be on this stage. I have presented over 1,000 times in my career. I’ve got this!”

Sometimes this kind of reality check is what we need to ground us and make us feel stronger, and the more often we do it, the more powerful and worthy we feel! It may not come naturally to you at first, but by practicing this essential self-coaching tool, soon you’ll learn to recognize the negative thought patterns that are fueling your fears and have the tools at your disposal to quickly disrupt them.

Feeling confident and self-assured in the face of our fears is something that everyone struggles with, but these techniques will help you to self-coach the next time the gremlin in your head makes an appearance. By practicing mindfulness, using personal affirmations and mantras, and focusing on positive truths, you’ll soon find that your fears are encouraging you instead of holding you back.