Want to Change Your Life? You Must Do This


Given the work that I do, I spend a lot of time thinking about how people can make big changes in their lives. (I’m anequity, diversity, and inclusion consultant, aprofessional speaker,以及一个作者empowerment book.)

我在我的工作中一致注意到了这一点We yearn for things to be different, but we often don’t know how to get there, and unfortunately, the advice we typically receive to change our lives — “just follow your dreams” or “just be yourself” or “focus on being positive” — often isn’t constructive enough to help us.

What we really need is a practical way to create behavioral change in our lives so that we are more in alignment with how we want to be活的. And that’s where a framework that I call the Seven Behavioral Dimensions comes into play. If you want to live your best, you need to master the Seven Behavioral Dimensions.


在我的书中The Authenticity Principle,我详细讨论了我开发的概念,称为七个行为尺寸。这些尺寸反映了七个行为领域,其中我们有意识地和无意识地做出决策,关于如何在任何时候采取行动。

In particular, all day long you’re deciding both consciously and unconsciously about how you want to behave across seven areas including how you express your emotions, how you communicate non-verbally, how you speak, your appearance, your actions, and more. (You can learn more about themhere.)

Understanding how you’re currently behaving in each of the Seven Behavioral Dimensions is an important foundation for understanding what changes you need to make in your life to get you closer to where you want to be. Once you understand the reasons for your behavior, you then have the knowledge to begin making big changes in your life.


Small Behavioral “Nudges” Will Change How You Act and How You Think

In her book,Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy describes the act of making small behavioral changes as “self-nudging.” She explains that self-nudges are minimal modifications to your behavior, which are intended to produce small psychological and behavioral improvements in the moment (for example, sitting more upright or placing your hands on your hips when speaking — behavior that will lead you to feel more confident — rather than starting with full-blownpowerposing). They are tiny tweaks with the potential to lead to big changes over time.


To take this a step further, when you change your behavior, it ultimately changes your thoughts and mindset.

Break Down Your Behavior

密切关注你在七个行为尺寸中的每一个中所展示的方式会有助于您了解有意识和无意识的decisionsyou’ve been making about how you show up. It will also help you connect the dots on where you should be “self-nudging” in order to get closer to being in alignment with how you want to behave.

想想你想要在你的生活中发生什么以及对你最重要的事情。你想要_____吗吸引朋友你可以自己周围吗?你想让你的梦想工作吗?你想忍受更多吗?authentically还你想更好地与孩子联系吗?你想住一个吗?values-based life?

When you know what kind of change you want to make, then you can use the Seven Behavioral Dimensions to build yourself a practical plan for change. For example, if your goal is to better connect with your children, you might note that you currently spend little time exploring your kids’ passions. Now that you’re aware of your behavior, you can consciously start engaging in activities with your kids that enable you to learn more about their needs and wants.

If your goal is to live a life that reflects your value of kindness, you might note that when you’re stressed at work, you’re letting it affect how you speak to your colleagues (you tend to be very direct when stressed). In the “words you use” dimension, you might decide to invoke故意暂停before speaking to be more mindful of the impact of your words.

The key is to start small. Choose a manageable number of incremental changes that will give you small wins and help get you comfortable with living differently. Over time, you can move on to more challenging behavioral adjustments.


The important thing to remember is that you are in the driver’s seat when it comes to your behavior. You have all the tools you need to change your life!


I’m an award-winning life coach, empowerment speaker, author, and inclusion expert dedicated to helping you live your best life.




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